Oncologist and Pulitzer Prize winner Siddhartha Mukherjee shared a profound message and reflection in a commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania regarding the most common phrases people express before their farewell.
The oncologist, recognized and praised among other things, for his literary work of 'non-fiction', The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer, has witnessed the last days and last hours of several of his patients, and emphasized in his speech regarding 4 crucial phrases most repeated by those who have already left this world.
These 4 phrases were:
- “I want to tell you that I love you.”
- “I want to tell you that I forgive you.”
- “Would you tell me that you love me?”
- “Would you give me your forgiveness?”
These final reflections are based on 2 fundamental points: love and forgiveness.
The importance of speaking up on time.
The speech also emphasizes how waiting to express oneself only delays the inevitable. The importance of communicating on time and in a timely manner is a space for conflict resolution, and expression of love and gratitude to our loved ones.
Mukherjee's words help us to remember how important it is to share our messages, our feelings, our regrets and everything that can make us feel vulnerable, in time. How much we love those around us, the power of forgiving someone and above all, having the courage to apologize.
Final considerations.
As we read these statements, there are some points we can focus on and learn from, while still keeping our feet on the ground:
-We must take responsibility for our actions, positive and negative.
-We must allow ourselves to experience even our negative feelings.
-Be able to apologize honestly and make amends for our past conflicts.
-Accept apologies from others. Not letting pride or anger prevent us from accepting them.
Losing the fear of expressing what we feel and think is key to the development of our interpersonal relationships and the sooner we can do this, the calmer our lives can become in the present.
